A Girl's Heart Desire

Sometimes,
I want to open my hijab,
and show the world,
that I too,
am beautiful in the people's definition.

But,
deep down here,
in my little heart,
I know that beauty is by definition,
a mystery.
and it is forever more rewarding,
to be beautiful in God's eyes.

Sometimes,
I want to wear ruffled dresses and tight jeans,
show off what I really look like,
under those baggy shirts and loosely fitted pants,
make a statement,
that I too,
have a figure and worth looking at.

But,
I know better,
to avoid entering the world of men's imagination,
for I love my future husband,
and I am ashamed,
what should be his, has already been unveiled by others.

Sometimes,
I want to show the world,
the other side of me,
the bubblier, bolder, and crazier me.
put myself on display,
for everyone to see,
to be desired, and admired upon.

But,
I know that eyes are not just eyes,
seeing is not just seeing,
image and respect are gained,
shame and humility deserve a better place,

Because in the end,
it is not just about me,
I carry a lot of impressions and expectations,
of what a Muslim girl should be,

I am covered by the word "Islam" the moment I walk out of my door,
So don't be selfish girl,

Can't you put behind your heart's desire for something worth fighting for?

Love is all it takes.
Love.

InshaAllah

p/s credit to Dahlia on iluvislam website

thanks girl! you really voiced out what's in my mind lately and right now.seriously said. Have to strengthen the love within me. =D

pictures are courtesy of google.hehe

finding the ultimate love

guess what?

its January 1st 2011. so I am 21 now?wow! time flies so fast yet too high to catch.

aim for 2011: spread the love,strengthen the ukhwah=D

this post is dedicated to my friend who want me to share input from muktamar,so here it goes;

Understanding Islamophobia (by Ust Syamsi Ali, Ust M. Joban, Ust M. Ridha)

Islamophobia is not something new,really, its a natural process to convey Allah's message to humankind. Do you think the prophets back then didnt encounter the challenges? They do, in fact, worse than our situation. Prophets Nuh, Ibrahim, Musa, Muhammad have been challenged harshly by their people when they convey their dakwah.

Prob/causes:

1) When people take religion from IT/mass media, they solely believe what they saw/heard/read

2) 'dominating' factor.

3) political fear: scared that Muslim will take over a particular land

4) Muslim behave nicely, yet they afraid it will influence more and more people to convert

5) its natural, hating Syariah laws because it contradicts their habit (drinking and such)

Solutions:

1) convincing that Islam is the most rational teaching of all

2)reaching out the interfaith leader

3) continuing dakwah

ohh yeah, the focus of this convention is ''In the Spirit of Humility, Reaching Out for All Humanity''

We must handle the phenomenon with care. How to indirectly educate others?

be a good Muslim.

and when you want educate somebody,please:

1) understand their level of knowledge

2) understand their level of background

3) understand their level of current understanding

because you dont want to go into scientific details with person know nothing about it, and you dont want to quote Quranic verse and try to impress someone when his/her doesn't even believe in his/her Bible. or you go with ''you dont know Islam?,the most fastest growing religion in the world?how ignorant..'' and yet crashed his/her curiousity. Do you know there are 80 faiths in the world?(according to what I heard once),we are the one who being ignorant.

So,remember:

1) open minds, be sincere towards self and others.

2) have a good knowledge with our own faith, other's faith, science & facts in general, word choice

3) dont be emotional, patience is the key

: ex, a claim that science dont prove something in Quran,tell them that science is still a process. back in 1951, scientist treated invasive cervical carcinoma aggressively because it was deadly and carcinoma in situ was not, isn't? later then, they found carcinoma in situ was the early stage of invasive one,no?(LOL,HeLa in mood,sorry).all i want to say is its a process dear. Scientific approach will support the carving words in the spectacular mukjizat,I believe.

Why is it important to reach out?

1) Protects others not to go down into traps

2) See everybody else around us as positively-potential people

3) Diversity- until the Day of Judgement, we could not make everyone else have same faith as ours.

*Respecting diversity: Our goal is not to MAKE them Muslim, but convey the message of Allah. beyond than that, leave it to servant-Creator relationship, I believe.

till here for now. for note, my favourite speakers in muktamar are Ust Hasanuddin (Malaysia), Imam Abdul Malik (US), Sh. Omar Baloch (US) and Ust Syamsi Ali (Indonesia). Their words feel lively in the air around me. Till we meet again.Jzk.

sayonara

When was the last time I cried because of something so beautiful, pure from the heart, and eventually realized I am still a servant of my Creator?

I dont remember.

Facts on this convention,Muktamar IMSA-MISG 2010

first day : 'rasa mcm nk balik'

second day : 'eh,ak silap program ke?'

*tgok banner balik*

sebab

'macam kursus kahwin'

third day: i did found something that had been missing from me after school

fourth day : hoping this feeling lasts forever

i'm impressed on two things:

ukhuwah among Indonesian professionals & their families

dakwah by Indonesian-American youth

p/s I did lied when I said I dont know why you're asking where's the old me,because deep down inside,i knew what is missing

spectacular

In a room of fourth floor motel tonight, I am able to write something throughout this journey.

Facts on my roadtrip around USA,

from: Rochester, New York

tonight: fifth day

tonight: fourth motel

today's achievement: drove Camry 120miles

tomorrow: going to muktamar MISG in St Louis,Missouri

tomorrow: will be in ninth state in a week

this week:

day 1 : Ohio, Kentucky, and Vanderbilt Uni, Nashville, Tennessee

day 2 : Atlanta, Georgia

day 3 : Mobile, Alabama

day 4 : New Orleans, Louisiana

day 5 : Arkansas and Memphis,Tennessee

the spectacular part in a roadtrip is the food (or food-hunting), we crashed into japanese, indian, chinese, mediterranean, turkish, pakistan and thai restaurant.

and bedtime stories too.

pray for happy and safe journey insyallah.

awesome vs happy

Remember a sister i met months ago in this post?

I met her again,tonight at Tajweed Essentials class at University of Rochester,10minutes away from mine.

well~because i'm tired,straight to the point:

It was awesome possum!

best class of tajweed ever,since 20years through fardhu ain classes in school.

it was tought by Syeikh Wisam Sharieff, he is so cool!

funny and full of enthusiasm!

when i say tajweed, does it ring a bell of all the complicated terms you knew?makhraj huruf? tarqiq & tafkhim? idgham and whatnot?

this class has nothing to do with those terms, it is about science of sounds, how you say it, how do you hear it, where the letters will be?in the lip or the throat?

Why tajweed?why not fiqh or anything else?

1) first command of Allah in Al-Quran is what? yes,exactly! iqra'!

2)to have better Quran recitation

3)recite the Quranic verse during solah correctly

4)seek for forgiveness in the way Allah wanted it to be (say the right words with correct meaning)

the way he taught it was amazing. I bet no one ever experience tajweed lesson like that before, never, no where else. i might fall in love if he is 10years younger. everyone's heart melts when listening to his recitation.and i got goosebumps! , for good.

a bit of sharing:

there are 7 AWESOME letters :those are heavy-sounded ض ص ط ظ ق غ خ

and he taught this as simple as 'awesome vs happy' in 29 arabic letters,

heavy letters sound thick like we say 'AWE'some and all other letters are happy,just nice and in relax way

know where the letters are in the throat and no technical terms, just listen and say it.

If an american girl,who actually drove me to this class,and she never know this arabic letters before, willingly to cancel her weekend plan for this class,why are we reluctant?are we better because we are muslim?not a guarantee.

take home message : if you are reading this before 10am saturday Dec 11, and you are free this weekend,

go to bayyinat.com and register! no regret. this is the last class in Rochester. His schedule will pull him to west coast till next 11 months.(wow)

what I had been thinking is;

we are sooo overwhelming by big problems such as jews secret agenda,ulama's different point of view in many subjects, and whatnot, try to loosen up a little bit,those problems are going to be debate 'like forever'...and will never end.

not until we all look up in The Quran. Learn the beauty of it and bring the spirit alive.

such a long day today.gonna get some rest and start surviving again tomorrow.isn't that what we do everyday?sleep,wake up,survive,sleep again,..

p/s : if we have claimed we love someone,shouldn't we read His love letter everyday?

1 Muharram 1432?

Abu Hurairah r.a berkata”Setiap kali datangnya tahun baru membuat aku risau dan resah kerana semakin singkat umurku,semakin dekat ajalku,semakin tipis waktu pngampunan Allah terhadapku,semakin dekatnya hari perhitunganku..”

semakin dibaca baris-baris ni,betul.in fact,tepat sekali.Ya Allah,lalainya aku.

moga hari hari mendatang membawa manfaat,aku tahu jalannya tak mudah tapi aku kena sedikit lebih kuat dari sekarang.

Salam Maal Hijrah 1432.

azam tahun baru:

~keja sampai kurus,haha

~kumpul duit utk 3 ticket MY-NY untuk masa depan

~mengaji byk sket plus istiqamah

~perbetulkan dan constantkan niat

wassalam~

p/s lalala,next week tiga exam dlm 2 hari.kalau la bleh nmpk jwpn atas lapisan putih 10inci salji kt luar=)

little 'snow white' and nightview of Niagara Falls

the very first pictures of me and friends in admirable,alluring,angelic and enchanting snow!<-see how much i'm enjoying it?haha

because snow is luscious, dainty and awe-inspiring!love it!=)

Nigthview of Niagara Falls is divine!

The background of Toronto city of Canada adds up the blissful potrait!

masyaAllah=)

In fact, it is the second largest falls in the globe next to Victoris Falls in southern Africa.

Also,one fifth of all the fresh water in the world lies in the four Upper Great Lakes~ Michigan,Huron,Superior,Erie. All the outflow empties into the Niagara river and eventually cascades over the falls.amazing,isn't?